The Mental Load of Summer Parenting: How to Cope with Feeling Touched Out
Summer can be a beautiful season for families, filled with longer days, playtime, adventures, and memories in the making. But behind the scenes, many parents, especially moms and primary caregivers, are carrying an invisible weight: the mental load of summer parenting.
When school’s out and routines shift, your role expands. You may find yourself constantly managing logistics, entertaining children, navigating emotions, keeping everyone safe, and trying to squeeze in moments of work, rest, or connection. If you’re feeling exhausted, overstimulated, or irritable, especially by the end of the day, you’re not alone. You may be experiencing something called being “touched out.”
At Alleviant, we believe mental health care includes recognizing the emotional labor of parenting. Let’s talk about what the mental load looks like in summer and why giving yourself permission to step back and recharge is not only okay, but necessary.
What Is the Mental Load?
The mental load refers to the invisible work of keeping a family or household running. It includes:
Planning meals and snacks
Coordinating camps, playdates, or travel
Managing screen time, sunscreen, and swim bags
Soothing emotional meltdowns
Remembering everything, for everyone
Even when you’re not physically doing something, your mind may be running nonstop—thinking ahead, solving problems, and carrying the emotional needs of the people around you. In summer, that load often grows heavier because:
Kids are home more often
Regular routines disappear
You feel responsible for making summer “fun”
Your own needs are pushed to the bottom of the list
This ongoing pressure can wear you down and lead to emotional and physical burnout.
What Does It Mean to Be “Touched Out”?
Being “touched out” is a common experience for caregivers, especially those caring for small children. It means feeling emotionally and physically drained from constant contact, noise, and demands for attention.
You might notice:
A strong desire to be left alone
Feeling irritated by even gentle touch or affection
Increased tension or snapping at small things
Feeling overstimulated by noise, mess, or activity
Wanting space but feeling guilty for needing it
These reactions are not signs that you’re a bad parent. They’re signals that your nervous system needs rest, boundaries, and support.
Why Summer Intensifies the Mental Load
Summer often removes the predictable structure that helps you stay steady. Without school hours, built-in breaks, or external childcare, many parents find themselves “on” all day with few moments to reset.
Common contributors to summer mental overload include:
Lack of alone time
Pressure to create “perfect” summer memories
Financial stress from activities, camps, or travel
Fewer breaks due to limited childcare options
Guilt when you’re not enjoying every moment
All of this adds up. And when your own cup is empty, it’s harder to show up for the people you love in the way you want to.
How to Care for Your Mental Health This Summer
If you're feeling overwhelmed, here are a few small but meaningful ways to support yourself:
1. Normalize the Need for Space
Wanting time alone doesn’t mean you love your kids any less. Everyone needs space to reset. Find moments, even short ones, to step outside, close a door, or just breathe.
2. Simplify the Schedule
You don’t have to plan a magical outing every day. Let your family find joy in slower moments, like sidewalk chalk, sprinkler play, or quiet reading time.
3. Set Boundaries Around Touch and Noise
It’s okay to say, “I need a few quiet minutes,” or “Let’s have a hands-free zone for a bit.” Teach your children that everyone has limits and that honoring them is part of healthy relationships.
4. Ask for Help
Share the mental load where you can, whether it’s a partner, friend, grandparent, or trusted sitter. You don’t have to carry everything on your own.
5. Care for Yourself, Guilt-Free
Your well-being matters. Prioritize sleep, hydration, movement, and moments that bring you joy. These aren’t luxuries. They’re part of your resilience.
You Deserve Support, Too
Parenting in the summer can be both beautiful and draining. If you’re feeling overstimulated, exhausted, or emotionally distant, it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re human.
At Alleviant, we understand the mental health challenges that come with parenting. Whether you need a safe space to talk, tools to manage stress, or support navigating emotional fatigue, we’re here to help.
You don’t have to wait until you’re completely burned out. Reach out today. Your healing matters, too.
