You Don’t Have to Be Thankful for Everything: Gratitude and Grief Can Coexist
Thanksgiving is supposed to be about gratitude, family, and celebration. But for many people, it can also bring up sadness, loneliness, or grief. You might be missing a loved one, navigating difficult family dynamics, or struggling with depression or anxiety. It’s normal to feel that way.
Feeling grief does not mean you are ungrateful. In fact, gratitude and grief can exist together. You can acknowledge your pain and still notice moments of light and comfort.
Why Grief and Gratitude Can Live Together
Gratitude is often misunderstood as being happy all the time. In reality, it’s about noticing what is meaningful or supportive in your life, even when things feel hard.
During challenging times, trying to force gratitude can feel frustrating or even invalidating. It’s important to remember that acknowledging your grief does not cancel out the things you appreciate. Both can coexist, and allowing space for both is a sign of emotional strength.
How to Practice Gratitude While Honoring Grief
Start small
You don’t have to find something big to be grateful for. Even noticing a warm cup of tea, a quiet morning, or a kind word counts.
Use “and” statements
Instead of thinking “I should feel grateful, but I’m sad,” try reframing it: “I am grateful for this moment, and I am also sad about what I miss.” This allows both feelings to exist together.
Make a gratitude ritual
Spend a few minutes each day reflecting or writing down what you notice. Structured tools can help guide this practice. Alleviant’s 30-Day Planner provides space to record both your gratitude and your emotions over time.
Express gratitude outwardly
Send a note, text, or quick message to someone you care about. Sharing gratitude can strengthen connections and boost your mood even during difficult times.
Allow yourself to feel grief
Feeling sadness or loss does not cancel out gratitude. Give yourself permission to experience grief fully while noticing small moments of light. Emotional balance comes from embracing the full spectrum of your feelings.
Support When Gratitude Feels Hard
Sometimes, grief or depression makes it nearly impossible to notice anything positive. That’s okay. You don’t have to do it alone. Professional support can help you navigate complicated emotions and find ways to cope during the holidays.
At Alleviant, we provide compassionate mental health care and advanced treatments for depression and mood support. You can take the first step today by taking our free depression screener or requesting an appointment.
